Like the one I am currently facing…
What to do; what to do. 😐
Like the one I am currently facing…
What to do; what to do. 😐
Although this Hemmed theme was my baby, the pride of my work with WordPress themes, it has clearly started to get old. I’ve received many nice comments about its simplicity and straightforward-ness, but in the end, I find it a little plain and lacking in design. As a result, I’ve decided that my next project will be to produce a new theme that I can use for this blog. Seeing that final exams are approaching, I’ll leave it on the back burner for now until I start my job in September. I imagine I’ll have plenty of time after work not doing endless assignments. I’ll devote more time to resuscitating this blog, which has been receiving slightly pained postings in the past month or two. It always seems like whenever I think of something deep to write about, I realize I don’t have time to sit down for an hour and get it all down the way I want. As a result, most of the posts have been pretty superficial and incoherent, to say the least.
Since I’m already 75% (rough estimate) done of this week’s calculus assignment (oh crap, just remembered I have a discrete assignment due Wednesday…) I may sit myself down and write something I’ve been planning to write for the past 3 months or so. I still haven’t quite finished reading the book “Theatre of the Mind” by Jay Ingram, but there are several points which have piqued my interest and I’d like to share them with all you readers. In the meantime, I’ll just say it’s an amazing read and you should definitely consider picking it up if you have any interest in how the mind works.
This past week has been ridiculous and I’m damn glad that it’s finally over. It finished off with a ECE100 circuits midterm which I did okay on. I made a couple stupid mistakes which will cost me, but hopefully not too much. I knew the material well, I just had a brain fart. It definitely wasn’t helped by the lack of sleep leading up to the exam. But what’s done is done and leads me to my next point.
I find myself dwelling way too much on things that have already occurred and I no longer have any control over. It’s probably been exacerbated by the fact that I’m in a difficult program and it’s reasonable to say that I’ll make a few mistakes here and there in any exam. But the fact that I know I could’ve done better if I had of done this or that, or remembered this or that really drives me nuts. I mean last night, I lay there awake wishing I had another crack at that midterm because I knew the material. A slipup cost me many percentages. To be honest, it’s not only mistakes I make on a test either. I spend way too much time thinking and moping about things I cannot control or change. I have to change that aspect of my personality. It doesn’t help me at all.
Because last week was so busy, I had little time to keep up with the material being presented in class. As a result, I’m slightly behind and I’m taking advantage of this weekend to really do some catching up. It’s not very common for me to do much work on Saturdays, but I really upped the self discipline today and got a solid amount of work done. I’m hoping to get caught up in all my classes and get all the assignments done for this week, excluding Calculus, before Monday. I’m going to try for a fresh start next week so that I’m not worrying about things I don’t understand. Plus, it’s really getting close to final exam time and I need to start studying. (Yeah, only a little more than two weeks left of lectures and then about 2 weeks of exams.)
I also decided that I want to live and work in the San Francisco Bay Area when I graduate (or maybe not after undergrad, but after grad school if I can make it). Not only is Silicon Valley in that area, the Bay area just generally seems like a nice place. (I Google mapped California for a good while this morning) I mean the weather helps a lot and watching shows like Entourage, which is based in California, just makes me want to go live there. I don’t think I could ask for anything more than to lead a comfortable life somewhere nice and warm. As I’ve aged, I think I’ve become more moderate, or perhaps more reasonable in my wishes and dreams. No longer do I wish to be some super rich person. Money just doesn’t seem to impress me as much anymore. I’d just like to live a comfortable life that I’m happy with.
My parents are going up to Toronto this weekend to check out a few places for me, when I work in Mississauga next semester. I didn’t get a chance to go home this weekend, but I trust their judgment enough. I still have to do some reading for that job… I need to brush up on my (non-existent) business and strategy analysis skills. If anything, I’ll learn a great deal about business this semester. On the topic of living somewhere, the bunch of people that applied for residence for the next study semester still haven’t gotten anything back from the Housing department yet. I read a newsletter that said the apartment-style residences are already full. See, if we don’t get into UWP I will be very angry. We put in our applications… more than a month ago now and when we last visited them, they told us we would get something soon. Another two weeks have passed and we’ve still got nothing.
I’m super excited about visiting PEI this summer. I can hardly wait to see the old crew again. It should be a good time and I’ll definitely savor the break from school. Some of you know the feeling you get when you finally finish that last exam and you’re free for a semester. (I no longer consider a full time job work. :P) Toodles, it’s time for bed.
I decided on my choice of career path pretty early in my high school years. That was pretty different from most students back then. They had a pretty solid idea of whether they would be going into sciences or arts, but aside from that, they were looking for university to show them what they really wanted to do. I chose computers and what was potentially a promising path for me, music, was dropped. I vowed to keep my piano skills up and play whenever I had the chance.
Well, it’s almost been one year now since computer engineering started and whatÂ has essentiallyÂ been end of my music playing days. I have played when Ihave the chance, every so often when I’m home on the weekend. But as I sat there at the piano earlier tonight, I told myself the utter, blunt, saddening truth. I have lost so much of what I had in piano. I tried playing some scales up to speed and some 4 octave arppegios. Needless to say, they were terrible. By my best estimate, I’ve lost about 4 years of technical skill.Â FourÂ yearsÂ lostÂ inÂ 10Â months. Then as if that wasn’t enough, I tried playing some jazz. Although (somewhat surprisingly) I still seemed to remember the changes from Autumn Leaves, I can no longer hear anything I want to do. I don’t know what my fingers want to do. They have nowhere to go.
Whle music will always be a part of my life (I listen to music seemingly constantly) I’ve lost that music in me. I’ll have to be content with being the spectator, noÂ longer the performer It’s the least I can do to tell myself the truth, even if it hurts.
Back in high school, it was all about fitting in with the right groups, being popular and well-liked. But now that I think back, what did that bring really? Drama? Tension? Jealousy? It’s funny how that ‘envious’ position would actually be associated with such emotions. Now that I’m a slight bit older and a lot more mature, it seems like I’ve had a drastic change in goals. I couldn’t care less if I was popular or not. How about:
When’s the last time those seemingly very basic goals have been far up on your list of things-to-do? After all, the person I truly want to impress is myself. If I can do that, I’ll be more than content.