I decided on my choice of career path pretty early in my high school years. That was pretty different from most students back then. They had a pretty solid idea of whether they would be going into sciences or arts, but aside from that, they were looking for university to show them what they really wanted to do. I chose computers and what was potentially a promising path for me, music, was dropped. I vowed to keep my piano skills up and play whenever I had the chance.
Well, it’s almost been one year now since computer engineering started and whatÂ has essentiallyÂ been end of my music playing days. I have played when Ihave the chance, every so often when I’m home on the weekend. But as I sat there at the piano earlier tonight, I told myself the utter, blunt, saddening truth. I have lost so much of what I had in piano. I tried playing some scales up to speed and some 4 octave arppegios. Needless to say, they were terrible. By my best estimate, I’ve lost about 4 years of technical skill.Â FourÂ yearsÂ lostÂ inÂ 10Â months. Then as if that wasn’t enough, I tried playing some jazz. Although (somewhat surprisingly) I still seemed to remember the changes from Autumn Leaves, I can no longer hear anything I want to do. I don’t know what my fingers want to do. They have nowhere to go.
Whle music will always be a part of my life (I listen to music seemingly constantly) I’ve lost that music in me. I’ll have to be content with being the spectator, noÂ longer the performer It’s the least I can do to tell myself the truth, even if it hurts.