Panic

I had a panic attack this morning while brushing my teeth. It was due to a topic that has been hanging over me for the last several months. My work term report has a total of 0 pages completed. Now that in itself isn’t even that bad; after all I still have around a month to complete this project. However, with the job as it is, it’s somewhat difficult to find something to write a 30 page report on. So I decided to choose a sort of research project to tackle, yet it seemed like such an impossible task. I mean how many research papers have those bigshot guys written? How could I possibly find some sort of solution that they haven’t already seen? Or what could I possibly discover that their hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars of research hasn’t found?

I’ve been scared, I guess, of actually thinking the whole project through. The thought that I’d think about it and then realize I wouldn’t be able to do anything with it was just too scary. Well, I thought about it this morning, I had to. I think I sorted some things through. Clearly I won’t be able to analyze the technical aspect of this project. I’ll have to analyze the political, social, and business portion of the problem. That’s the only thing that I can really write anything about. It’ll be interesting that’s for sure.

I finished and submitted my cumulative module for PDENG 15. The Big Kahuna. You know, the one that everything rests on. If I fail, well, I basically fail the whole course. At this point, I can only hope.

More when I can think clearly again. I’m just not in the mood for writing anything ‘personal’.

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